Memo From: A Child
To: Parents
1. Don't spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not
to have all - I'm only testing you.
2. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it,
it makes me feel secure.
3. Don't let me form bad habits. I have to rely on
you to detect them in the early stages.
4. Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only
makes me behave stupidly "big".
5. Don't correct me in front of people if you can
help it. I'll take much more notice if you talk
quietly with me in private.
6. Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. It
upsets my sense of values.
7. Don't protect me from consequences. I need to
learn the painful way sometimes.
8. Don't be too upset when I say "I hate
you". Sometimes it isn't you I hate but your power to thwart
me.
9. Don't take too much notice of my small ailments.
Sometimes they get me the attention I need.
10. Don't nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by
appearing deaf.
11. Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should
like. That is why I am not always accurate.
12. Don't put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you will
find that I stop asking and seek my
information elsewhere.
13. Don't be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes
me lose faith in you.
14. Don't tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real and
you can do much to reassure me if you try
to understand.
15. Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It
gives me too great a shock when I discover
that you are neither.
16. Don't ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize
to me. An honest apology makes me
feel surprisingly warm
towards you.
17. Don't forget I love experimenting. I couldn't get along
without it, so please put up with it.
18. Don't forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be very
difficult for you to keep pace with me,
but please do try.
19. Don't forget that I don't thrive without lots of love and
understanding, but I don't need to tell you, do I?
20. Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.
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